The Convicts

Source: Stock Photos I think I will like rain more if I sit in the balcony and drink cups of coffee, if I read books, if I write. I hate getting into muddy puddles and I hate the mud on my feet. I hate feeling cold when I am drenched in rain. *** I think I will like you more if we go to the movies, if we go out on romantic dates to watch desi plays, if we have intellectual debates on why my brain is weird. I think I will like you more if I see you from a vantage point; being close to you is scary. I hate it when I feel cold after loud, messy fights. I hate it when I fight with you about who manages which chores. *** I stepped out in the rain today. I can’t always avoid it. My feet were muddy. I was feeling cold. But the thought of the balcony and cups of coffee kept me warm. **I wrote this last monsoon or in 2018. I don't remember clearly. But I wanted to record the thought here.

Dear All, This is how I start my formal, official mails- “Dear All”. I wish I could have started this, ummm, this letter more informally. (I do not have a better word for it- It is more of a cry than a letter, not directed at anyone specifically but at everyone.) I cannot start this informally though. The matter that I wish to convey is of a sombre nature. This lockdown has been difficult for everyone. It has been especially difficult because we have been hearing of the death of some very well-known names. Sushant Singh Rajput passed away today, and it is said that he hanged himself. Finality of death is such that it has caused us human beings to dream up an afterlife. It is the ultimate full stop! End of a 34-year-old, at the peak of his career, with so much to offer. After Sushant’s death, people have been speculating if it was really a suicide. A friend’s friend said, “When you are an over achiever, you are involved in things that have some big consequences. We do not know