Dear Pakistan

Dear Pakistan,

I have had this nauseous feeling inside of me for some time now. I had consciously stirred away from all the books that described the partition in great detail. And if I did read about it, it was objective and from a third party perspective. I refrained myself from having any feelings about it. And why should I have them? I was born in 1988 in a small town of Maharashtra- an Indian state far away from the India-Pakistan border. Yes, my best friend had her ancestral roots in Sindh but we seldom spoke about it in detail.

I grew up hearing about ISI intermittently. From what we kids heard about it, for us, ISI was equivalent to a terrorist organization. You were always the enemy. How I hated you during the Kargil war. And yes, almost everything that went wrong in India was attributed to you and your ISI.

And then this happened: It was 2003. I was 14. I was in Thailand as a part of the Indian contingent for the 20^th world scout Jamboree. I met people from around the world. The frog had jumped outside its well; it was learning new things. I was part of the team that had to perform for the closing ceremony. It was then that I ran into this Pakistani boy. Something about him fascinated me. He looked and sounded so well-mannered and cultured. Our enemy was not supposed to look like that or behave like that! But there I was, curiously examining this Pakistani as if he were a lab rat. We exchanged numbers. Then we only had landlines. So we exchanged our landline numbers. But I never called him. He did not call me either. I don’t remember what stopped me. I think I still hated you. Weren’t you sending infiltrators to Kashmir? And yes, the ISI. I did not call the boy.

Fast Forward to 2016. Zee Studios started a channel called Zindagi. They were telecasting TV shows that your people made. Some of them were wonderful! Some of them quiet regressive. But through these shows, I got glimpses of Karachi, Lahore and Islamabad. I got glimpses of life in Pakistan. I was hooked. I wanted to learn more about you! You know how you go to a party and run into a guy. Everyone tells you that the guy is bad news. But now you want to know more about him, you want to understand why he is the way he is. I began googling pictures of Karachi and Lahore. That was when the thought hit me for the first time: two of my closest friends had their ancestral roots in Karachi! Had the partition never happened, I would have had two friends from Karachi! How I would have loved to visit them in Karachi! This place appeared so beautiful in pictures! Lahore looked equally beautiful! Just when I was getting to know you, Uri happened. There were surgical strikes by India and Zindagi channel stopped airing your shows.

But there was a feeling that I could not shake off. There was a time when we were one country, Dear Pakistan! We were one. A lot of people on both sides of the border like to argue that British India was only a political entity. But for all those years when we fought the British Empire, did we not fight it as one? And isn’t it true that Indian Punjab has more cultural similarities with Pakistani Punjab than it has with say Tamil Nadu or Maharashtra? I won’t talk about Kashmir or Balochistan here; that calls for another article. But Dear Pakistan, how I wish at times that these borders weren’t there! That I could hop on to a flight and reach Lahore without worrying that I am an “Indian”. Or that when people from your side of the border came here, they did not have to bear the strict Visa regime! Isn’t it funny that the same British people who we fought together can come to India and Pakistan without any restrictions on their Visa. On the other hand, when a Pakistani gets a Visa for an Indian city, he has to be only in that city and cannot travel to any other Indian city!

I have been living in Mumbai for the past 8 years. I wonder how will it be if one day I wake up to the news that Maharashtra and Gujarat are 2 different countries. Mumbai is with Gujarat now and I have to leave all my belongings and run to Maharshtra. I have built a life here in Mumbai and I shudder to imagine what would it feel like if I have to stay 300 kms away from Mumbai but I cannot enter it for political reasons. Is that how the partition must have felt like? I don’t know how many years people would have spent hoping everything will be ok and that they will return to their respective cities some day! God only knows how many Indians from Lahore still carry the “Lahoriyat” in their hearts and how many “Bombay”ites reside in Pakistan. We Indians cannot see Karachi anymore, we only have to do with our Karachi bakeries. Like Indian vice-president, Hamid Ansari, I keep wondering, “Yeh Diwangi Kab Khatam Hogi!”

Dear Pakistan, when I think of you, I think of these lines by Manoj Muntashir. They are from a movie called “Kapoor and Sons”. Listen to the song and think of me. Will you, Dear Pakistan?

Saathi rey thoda thehar jaa
Abhi raastein kuch badal se jayenge
O saathi rey thoda thehar jaa
Yeh paav bhi ab sambhal se jayenge

Phir wohi barsaat hogi
Aur ashq saare dhul se jaayenge
Roshni din raat hogi
Aur sab jharokhe khul se jaayenge

Yaara tu hi toh bandagi hai
Yaara tu hi dua
Yaara kaisi ye berukhi hai
Kyun judaa tu hua

Hmm saathi re thoda thehar ja
Abhi mausam ka badalna baaki hai
O saathi re thoda thehar ja
Kuch door saath chalna baaki hai

Phir unhi raaston pe
Tere mere kadmo ka milna baaki hai
Dard mein, ranjishon mein
Sang bujhna aur jalna baaki hai

Yaara tu hi toh bandagi hai
Yaara tu hi dua
Yaara kaisi ye berukhi hai
Kyun judaa tu hua

Haan tere aur meri darmiyan
Ab bhi baki hai ik daastan